It's turkey lurkey time betches.

Its the last week of November, Thanksgiving is 2 days away, the holiday season is finally upon us once again and all I can think about is the shit I'm NOT thankful for...I'm SUCH an emo betch I know I know. I promise to go slit my wrists when I'm through writing. I'll even cut them the right way (parallel to your veins, mind you).

-I'm not thankful for having all my meals taken care of, I feel like all I do is eat. And although I may eat healthy, I cannot, to save my life figure out if I am gaining or losing weight. Body image issues just like on Degrassi.

-I'm not thankful that one of my FAVORITE stores is closing down. I mean, where else could you go looking for a laundry hamper and leave with a barrel of jelly beans?

R.I.P. BB&B

-I'm not thankful that BOTH Lipstick Jungle AND Pushing Daisies are getting canceled. But I still have the option of watching Knight Rider or Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Fucking please. KNIGHT RIDER PICKED UP ANOTHER SEASON?

-I'm not thankful that I have a weird habit of looking at people like this. They remind me that I'm either totally lucky, or I'm gonna be miserable and aware for the rest of my life.

-I'm not thankful that I WONT be in LA to make my family cry with my famous "what I'm thankful for" speeches. I used to get them every time it was so fun.

-I'm not thankful that Gossip Girl wasn't on last night, don't give me a thanksgiving episode the week BEFORE. That's some bullshit.

-I'm not thankful that Sarah Palin is even considering NOT accepting a talk show option. Do it girl. You're the next Sally Jesse Raphael. No...you're the next RICKI LAKE

Where the FUCK did Ricki Lake aka Mrs. Winterbourne go come to think of it...

-I'm not thankful I am about to be alone for the 3rd holiday season in a row. Wheres my cuddle next to the fire, get drunk in bed, present exchanging, Christmas caroling, turtleneck wearing dude?

(Ok, I lied about the turtleneck, if he wears one I'll murder him.)

FINE FINE FINE ILL DO MY THANKFUL LIST TOOOOOOO :P

-I'm thankful I'm in school. As much as my behavior/words/everything about me might negate this fact. It's true. I never thought I would have the privilege of going to college. It's expensive, it's time consuming and it involves the efforts of multiple people. I appreciate the energy my family has put into my future, it's a beautiful thing to be laying in my dormroom bed knowing I'm reaching my first holiday break from college. ~*~*ImA sTuDeNt KeWl*~*~

-I'm thankful for all the new friends I've made. At a time of massive transition and upheaval, I have found a new support system, a new foundation of people that keep me sane and crazy simultaneously. They rule, and they're just as out of their minds and evil/mean as my friends from LA/HHC.

-I'm thankful for BBM (blackberry messenger to all those that all of you that have been living under a loser rock for the past 2 years). If it wasn't for BBM I don't think I would've survived at school. It is somehow in my mind more immediate and satisfying than texting, if anyone has any theories as to why this is. Please comment.

-I'm thankful that I'm a full fledged stoner again. If the worse thing you ever get addicted to in 7 years of drug experimentation is pot, then you're gonna be alright. I feel like I'm in high school all over again, these youngins up here smoke MORE, that's right MORE than my friends in Los Angeles. It's kind of a little too much, MAYBE.

-I'm thankful that I have Britney's new album, it will forever be the sound of Winter 2008/2009 for me. Thanks gurl.

-I'm thankful to be myself. If that sounds weird or nebulous then excuse me, but its true. I'm thankful for being the totally turbulent, absolutely insane, rude, cynical, pessimistic, pompous, preachy, loving, vulnerable, scared little child that I am. Half the time I dont feel this way. And that's normal, but the other half of the time...the half that makes the most sense I know I'm an amazing, exciting, entertaining, important part of my loved one's lives.

-I'm thankful that I'm gay. It's a crucial time in history for homosexuals and I am happy and PROUD to be fighting the good fight for my gays. We rule and we know it. I feel a part of something much bigger than myself, and that humbling feeling makes me realize...its a beautiful time to be alive.

-I'm thankful for YOU GUYS!!! HELLOOOOO obviously without you I wouldn't have a reason for writing stupid faggot-y ass sh*t like this. I never in a million years thought I would care about something like a blog, but I find myself becoming more and more invested in it and its all because of you guys telling me you like what I'm doing. Keep up the good work fuckers, and I will too.

Happy Thanksgiving, I hope everyone eats and sleeps well and enjoys their time with loved ones. And remember to bring me leftovers.