Movin on up...

I've moved!

faggutz.wordpress.com

Blogger isn't satisfying me anymore.  

Other things that have lost their effect on me...

1) Heroes

2) Whiskey

3) Linkin Park

4) Intervention

5) Holiday Sentiments

6) Every guy I've ever been with, except for one.

Save the! --eh, We're Over It.

What ever happened to 'save the rainforests??' Al Gore, are you out there? When I was a little lad, it was like doomsday if the rainforests were ever cut down. If the rainforests were destroyed, we would not only increase the CO2 in our atmosphere and turn the heat way up in our Earth, but we would lose hundreds of thousands of precious, precious endangered species in the process. Some of which we've never even seen before! Or so I was told...

But what happened? Were they 'saved?' I doubt it... How did the drama end? What's going on there? I want to know!

When I was in grade school, it was like we were being indoctrinated with pro-rainforest propaganda! I swear, we had pictures of them posted, we were tested on them, I'm sure we had some sort of Rainforest Day to celebrate their crucial nature and the beautiful wonders that they contain. Hell, I know from grade school that the rainforest has layers; the top is the canopy and that's where all the birds lived and stuff, and at the bottom is really dark because the trees are that tall!

We had movies telling us the importance of the rainforests! Helloo, FernGully anyone?? If I remember correctly, that bulldozer monster was terrifying! And if there was no bulldozer monster in FernGully, then it was from another rainforest movie, which further validates my point. The 90s were saturated with Rainforest promotions.

One would think that now, when 'green' is a catchphrase and corporations are bragging about their environmental standards and we each seem to matter-of-factly know the science of how global warming works, that we would at least have some update on how our South American world wonders are doing.

It's honestly like the World Wildlife Fund or Greenpeace or whomever were like, "Ah, fuck it. The only people interested in rainforests are little kids. Once they grow up they lose interest; we all saw it coming. Let's start talking about recycling instead." Does anyone care to fill me in? If this crucial drama of our planet in peril was so incredibly important, why do I not know how the story panned out? Don't we care? Was it that important? It had to be! What happened to the rainforests?? Like the number of licks in a Tootsie-Pop, the world may never know...

hate to say I told you so

So, I didn't pass my developmental math class.  Thats about 4 attempts at basic algebra that have failed.  Everything else stuck, I survived chemistry, I stayed afloat in physics even.  AP Art History was doable, and AP English lit and English comp were almost a breeze.  But Algebra...ha! Never.  So since I'll never graduate from college because I can't understand dlfjhlksgflkshjdfgjkshMATH, here is a substitute for "Level Of Education" on your resumé

TED University: TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is a conference that happens annually in Silicon Valley.  Leaders in the 3 fields mentioned are asked to give a lecture on anything they want.  I've sat on youtube for hours, days even...just listening to what these minds have to say.  I've watched a Lexicographer explain how we can redefine the dictionary.  I've heard JJ Abrams discuss the origins of his obsession for the unkown mystery.  Isaac Mizrahi delivers a manic talk about sources of inspiration and the creative mind.  Its all covered.

I wish that watching TED talks on youtube could somehow be refined into some sort of formal education.  You can choose what lectures you want to see and write responses to them.  You can be inspired by certain speakers to create something of your own brilliance.  I don't know, I just think you guys should check it out, here are some of my favorites: 

The Next 5,000 days of the web

Underwater Astonishments

Do Schools kill Creativity?

Redefining the Dictionary

I know they're all kind of long, but if you're looking for some awesome brain food then ted.com is your grocery store.  I encourage you to find one that interests you, so when someone asks you "So what did you learn in school today"  you can say "Nothing, but then I went home and learned something amazing on the internet."

Finals Week

Finals week is staring me in the face and it's time to get serious. While this week is (as it should be) a heavy workload, it's also kind of silly. What's funny about finals week is how common conversational exchanges often seem to be reduced to an unstated competition to find who has the most burdensome, unmanageable workload. Instead of talking about notable news or common interests, the conversations default to a list of the surmounting tasks that the student unknowingly chose to take on when they enrolled in all their classes. Peoples' conversations start sounding a little like these:

"Hey! How are you?"

"Oh I'm fine. I just finished a 25-page paper while standing on my head."

"Oh."

"Heyyy what's upp did you finish our report that's due tomorrow..."

"Well I'm halfway there but only because yesterday I had to go to three different finals that are all scheduled at the same time, but it's cool because I'll just take about 30 more Adderall than usual and I'll whip it out in no time."

"You look a little tired? Do you have a lot of work this week?"

"Um, YES. I haven't slept in four days and the last time that happened was before I went to rehab. I'm considering taking up meth again I'm so tired. I have three papers to write by tomorrow, two are fifteen pages and the other is twenty. The twenty pager I haven't attended class since October."

"Wow, that's too bad."

"Hey, sorry if I seem anxious, I just have this in-class essay in thirty minutes and I feel a little underprepared."

"Oh, that's not that bad, I have an in-class exam this afternoon and we're not allowed to use pens or pencils."

It's like people start making things up just to show how burdened they are! And thank goodness for Attention Deficit Disorder; if that didn't exist, where would Adderall be and how would some people pass their finals? Funny story-- one of my friends once dated this guy that would never EVER smoke pot, but was a HUGE fan of Adderall. I mean, how much more stupid could you get? One is an amphetamine engineered in chemical labs and the other is a plant! Talk about doing something because The Man told you to... Well, I better go, I have a forty-page English paper to finish thats due yesterday and we have to write it in pig-latin.

Am I Dreaming?

TEDDY BEARS IN SPACE!

Things I get to come home to...

As my first college quarter reaches a close, I have seriously gassius butterflies in my stomach. Im SO excited to go back to LA and here's why:

1) Annette, everything about Annette. OBVIOUSLY
2) Daryl's joints
3) Cactus
4) Yuccas
5) Ross' Dancing
6) Banksy's Back party at Too Many Tuesdays (DEC. 16TH SEE YOU THERE)
7) Mercedes, BMWs, Lexus ad nauseum
8) Xander's brutal honesty
9) Brent's laugh and totally frantic behavior
10) Itaru's cluelessness, JK Bitty you're plugged in.
11) Talia's smile and laugh and hugs
12) Jared's boy like kindness with a dash of satanic tendencies. I MISS JARED
13) Fenton's deep statements drenched in seersucker....at coachella....in the 100 degree heat.
14) Jack Siegel. totally miss that kid.
15) Reasons to get dressed up
16) Erin's smile, Hayley's smile, Quentin and Lyndsea's attitudes.
17) I miss being treated like teen scene queen RoYaLtY!
18) My army cot bed
19) Im gonna have ALL of my favorite people in one place...and im gonna tackle all of you
20) #14 is a lie

Life's biggest questions.

One of my strongest literary memories from my childhood is this book. The Way Things Work was, well, exactly that. It's a collection of explanations for everyday devices/technology. Everything from the oppositional concepts of levers and gears to the complex operations of a radio. I couldn't for the life of me tell you how any of the things in the book work today. But as a young boy, just knowing I had the answers bound and illustrated in a coffee table book was comforting enough. I would take it out and show my friends that I could potentially learn how film and projectors worked, if I felt so inclined.

Nowadays I am finding myself lacking such resources. The answers to the questions that plague my young mind cannot be found in a book. The inquiries range from incredibly trivial to absolutely paralyzing, but no matter their relevancy they still maintain a generally equal level of importance to me. And although the answers to some of these questions might be obvious, consider how sufficient they actually are...here are a few of the best examples, the ones that attack me so often I can remember them off hand.

- Why do people buy DVD's?

Am I right or am I right? With the creation of Netflix, OnDemand AND Tivo people still think that buying dozens of DVD's is a good idea. You can have ANY movie you want, for as long as you want it and the longest you'll have to wait for it is a day or two. Did we not learn our lesson with 8-tracks and minidiscs? These kinds of things are OBSOLETE people.

-Were did Michael Keaton go?

I know I know, he was in Herbie Fully Loaded and White Noise. But this guy used to be Batman! He was Beetlejuice! He was also in a movie called Multiplicity that I LOVED when I was younger. I guess I just miss him more than most people.

-How am I gonna survive in the modern world?

With the economy headed in the direction that it is. And my rights to marry being revoked, I start to wonder if coming of age and trying to make ends meet in Tomorrowland is even worth it. I can't even manage a checkings account, but I want like 7 children. How is this gonna work?

- Why do Christian crazies feel the need to yell at me?

I dont come to your church and tell you what I think you're doing is wrong. I don't stand on your lawn and preach to you about how much I love being gay. So please don't come to my college campus to tell me I am "the chief of sin" and that I "will get AIDS". Yes, someone said those exact words to me today, on my school grounds nonetheless!

-How come everyone thinks Donnie Darko is so good?

Seriously, doesn't ANYONE feel totally dissatisfied at the end of the movie? For the duration of the film youre taken on this journey, only to end up with as much knowledge as you did at the beginning of the movie. Oh and FUCK Patrick Shwayze.

-Why are people still buying SUVs?

Unless you're a farmer, or your vocation requires an SUV for some reason, you dont need to be buying a Hummer, or a Suburban. I'll admit I see alot more mini SUVs and barely any new full sized ones. But at least twice a week I am still forced to spot that DOUCHEBAG driving a faggot-y yellow Hummer, he's obsessed with West Coast Customs and likes paisley bandanas. Lick me, all of you.

-How come people can't accept that pop music is good?

It must suck to be those people that think its not cool to like pop. Is it not cool to like candy? Is it not cool to like mindless sex? I'm sorry, but pop was designed by some of the best producers and musicians in the industry to make you like it. It's designed to feel good to listen to. It makes you want to dance, but some people cannot get past the stigma. Yeah, I said it...pop music has a stigma, its the victim. SAVE POP MUSIC!

-Ugg Boots...still...during the summer.

ALWAYS with the denim skirt. UGHHHHHH MOVE ON LADIES.

INTERGALACTIC BRITNEY SPEARS DAY

-ITS HER 27TH BIRTHDAY

-HER ALBUM (OFFICIALLY) RELEASES (and it's good)

-SHE'S NORMAL AGAIN! and can communicate with people and be televised and tour and actually answer questions

-and her hair is probably growing out too!

on good morning america:


dance in public to celebrate britney day!

SUPER MIND-BLOWING AMAZING HYPER INTELLIGENTSIA

11 MINUTES, I KNOW. PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE



AND IN UNRELATED FIELDS, AN IMAGE OF THE MOON I WAS TALKING ABOUT. IT'S A SMILEY SKY!

Testing... Testing...

We've been wanting a flash mp3 player on this site for some time now... I'm going to see if this works. Fingers crossed...

The song is Last Night A DJ Saved My Life by Mirage.
It's on Italians Do It Better's After Dark compilation.

Look Upwards Tonight!

My besties at NASA tell me that tonight the moon will appear very closely to the brightest planets in the sky, Jupiter and Venus. Maybe it will be really pretty. Although if you're like me and you live in LA, you probably will need help just finding the moon. We'll see!

pretty pretty starry skyyy

What's Zac Efron Up To?

I just thought it was appropriate to check in with one of my favorite boys. Looks like he's slutting himself to the gas station.

Ugh... Sorry I just blanked I was looking at the picture. Umm... Oh! Did you know he turned 21 recently? I think he did... Like where were all the wasted pictures of him? Come on Zac, Lindsay gave us some shit photos why not you? Oh yeah because Disney has you wrapped around their plastic fingers. Bummer. Well if you ever need someone to make out with, I'm here for you. I think my facebook is linked here somewhere, hit me up.

(If you want to get coffee or something instead, that's totally cool too)

The Big Picture

If you like hi-resolution, dramatic images then you might like The Big Picture. It's just this online section of the Boston Globe that has really large, good-quality news photographs and shit that for the most part are pretty impressive. There's an Obama series if you can't get enough of him (if that's you then you must be stoked because he's everywhere right now) and there's also intense pictures of the Mumbai massacre if you can handle gross, sad things. There's also really pretty things about natural wonders and stuff too. I actually haven't seen any series about stuff like that yet but I'd just like to hope that there are. 

Sam how the fuck do you find videos like that?

Moment Of Clarity

Gay White Supremacists?

Someone please explain.

I am the game, I am the spotlight, I am the thing that makes sure you never think twice

Happy Banksgiving

America's darling is BACK

Bless her heart for working so hard on thanksgiving.  This is Britney's performance at the "Bambi Awards"??? Some German something-or-other.  She pulled two awards!  You guttentag girl!

THNKSGVNG

It's Thanksgiving and I'm drunk and this sucks. Happy Thanksgiving readers!!! We are thankful for you. I will speak on Sam's behalf.

But damnit! Now I'm going to be hungover all day because I chose to drink Jack Daniels and forgot dinner in the same night. Ugh. My body is achy and my head feels really large. I'm gonna stop, everybody already knows what a hangover feels like.

Be back later, must get coffee.

Oh but wait. To celebrate, here's a picture of a turkey. Not a cooked one, no. A living one, so we know what it looked like before it was slayed. And our beloved president.




mmm coffee

Throwback!

Okay so like when I was in high school Madonna came out with her "American Life" album and it was all anti-this and anti-that and everybody was like ooomg she doesnt like bush ooomg shes crazy blah blah blah. It's so funny to think of that now, where we can actually say that everybody dislikes Bush and the war and all that jazz.

Anyways, I was so into the album (as I should be) and I remember this song was like all like whatever and stuff, and she pulled the video because it was like graphic or something and the war actually started between the song's release and the video's release. And then she released that STUPID edited version with dumb flags and stuff. That was... over five years ago! Wow. So much has changed since then. Okay well here's the full version and it's totally unedited and blah blah blah. Enjoy. I did. (Many times)

oh and sam, thanks for reminding me. kate beckinsale. that's her name!

Its a trailer, but just look at it as a youtube short.

Thanks Christy

Whatshername? WHATSHERNAME!?!?!?!

KATE BECKINSALE

Underworld

Serendipity

Click (a FINE FILM, srsly)

Brokedown Palace

...a little movie called The Aviator too.

**AuStRaLia***(oOOh aaAAh)

I am so f*cking sick of this image. Are you? Nicole Kidman thinks she can just come back out of nowhere and saturate bus posters, billboards, and tv ads with an image of her attempting to look authentically desperate while remaining a war-torn tragic beauty. Well I think not. It looks like they rehashed the ads for "Pearl Harbor" and photoshopped Nicole's head over that bulimic whatshername actress. This poster is everywhere! Sometimes movies that try to exert a pervasive omnipresence just motivate me to not view them. I think this will be my attitude for Australia. But it's not like I'm a regular moviegoer anyways. I wonder if this movie is even good. I think its directed by Baz Luhrmann so I guess it's possible? Whatever. I'm sick of it. Put your thoughts in the comment box.

Moment of Clarity: Thanks(but no thanks)giving Edition

Some one please explain...

Animal Circus

So I'm house-sitting for a little bit of thanksgiving break, and I get to babysit the cutest two little animals!! Maybe not cutest, my dog is the cutest obviously. But look at them--

ginger, i think she's a white lab? is that possible? if not white, then golden. soo cute! she's a free-spirited dog that likes fast walks and never acts her age. she has a strict diet of dog food and water and thats how she keeps that amazing trim bod.

ono, a kitten! she's a feisty badass schyster that doesn't take no for an answer. ono spends her time trying to hop on top of the laundry machines and giving ginger's waggy tail some serious smackdowns. im supposed to spray water at her when shes clawing at things and damn does she move. ono may/may not be a boy, but ill assume shes a girl for now because i think of yoko ono when i think of her and yoko was a girl too.

look at them havin a brawl! or a ball? i can never tell if animals are fighting or playing. 

It's turkey lurkey time betches.

Its the last week of November, Thanksgiving is 2 days away, the holiday season is finally upon us once again and all I can think about is the shit I'm NOT thankful for...I'm SUCH an emo betch I know I know. I promise to go slit my wrists when I'm through writing. I'll even cut them the right way (parallel to your veins, mind you).

-I'm not thankful for having all my meals taken care of, I feel like all I do is eat. And although I may eat healthy, I cannot, to save my life figure out if I am gaining or losing weight. Body image issues just like on Degrassi.

-I'm not thankful that one of my FAVORITE stores is closing down. I mean, where else could you go looking for a laundry hamper and leave with a barrel of jelly beans?

R.I.P. BB&B

-I'm not thankful that BOTH Lipstick Jungle AND Pushing Daisies are getting canceled. But I still have the option of watching Knight Rider or Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Fucking please. KNIGHT RIDER PICKED UP ANOTHER SEASON?

-I'm not thankful that I have a weird habit of looking at people like this. They remind me that I'm either totally lucky, or I'm gonna be miserable and aware for the rest of my life.

-I'm not thankful that I WONT be in LA to make my family cry with my famous "what I'm thankful for" speeches. I used to get them every time it was so fun.

-I'm not thankful that Gossip Girl wasn't on last night, don't give me a thanksgiving episode the week BEFORE. That's some bullshit.

-I'm not thankful that Sarah Palin is even considering NOT accepting a talk show option. Do it girl. You're the next Sally Jesse Raphael. No...you're the next RICKI LAKE

Where the FUCK did Ricki Lake aka Mrs. Winterbourne go come to think of it...

-I'm not thankful I am about to be alone for the 3rd holiday season in a row. Wheres my cuddle next to the fire, get drunk in bed, present exchanging, Christmas caroling, turtleneck wearing dude?

(Ok, I lied about the turtleneck, if he wears one I'll murder him.)

FINE FINE FINE ILL DO MY THANKFUL LIST TOOOOOOO :P

-I'm thankful I'm in school. As much as my behavior/words/everything about me might negate this fact. It's true. I never thought I would have the privilege of going to college. It's expensive, it's time consuming and it involves the efforts of multiple people. I appreciate the energy my family has put into my future, it's a beautiful thing to be laying in my dormroom bed knowing I'm reaching my first holiday break from college. ~*~*ImA sTuDeNt KeWl*~*~

-I'm thankful for all the new friends I've made. At a time of massive transition and upheaval, I have found a new support system, a new foundation of people that keep me sane and crazy simultaneously. They rule, and they're just as out of their minds and evil/mean as my friends from LA/HHC.

-I'm thankful for BBM (blackberry messenger to all those that all of you that have been living under a loser rock for the past 2 years). If it wasn't for BBM I don't think I would've survived at school. It is somehow in my mind more immediate and satisfying than texting, if anyone has any theories as to why this is. Please comment.

-I'm thankful that I'm a full fledged stoner again. If the worse thing you ever get addicted to in 7 years of drug experimentation is pot, then you're gonna be alright. I feel like I'm in high school all over again, these youngins up here smoke MORE, that's right MORE than my friends in Los Angeles. It's kind of a little too much, MAYBE.

-I'm thankful that I have Britney's new album, it will forever be the sound of Winter 2008/2009 for me. Thanks gurl.

-I'm thankful to be myself. If that sounds weird or nebulous then excuse me, but its true. I'm thankful for being the totally turbulent, absolutely insane, rude, cynical, pessimistic, pompous, preachy, loving, vulnerable, scared little child that I am. Half the time I dont feel this way. And that's normal, but the other half of the time...the half that makes the most sense I know I'm an amazing, exciting, entertaining, important part of my loved one's lives.

-I'm thankful that I'm gay. It's a crucial time in history for homosexuals and I am happy and PROUD to be fighting the good fight for my gays. We rule and we know it. I feel a part of something much bigger than myself, and that humbling feeling makes me realize...its a beautiful time to be alive.

-I'm thankful for YOU GUYS!!! HELLOOOOO obviously without you I wouldn't have a reason for writing stupid faggot-y ass sh*t like this. I never in a million years thought I would care about something like a blog, but I find myself becoming more and more invested in it and its all because of you guys telling me you like what I'm doing. Keep up the good work fuckers, and I will too.

Happy Thanksgiving, I hope everyone eats and sleeps well and enjoys their time with loved ones. And remember to bring me leftovers.

CAPCHA'S GOTCHA

I've hated the enter-text-security things ever since their inception. They started on ticketmaster, made their way to myspace (huge downer when posting comments), and now, APPARENTLY, they've infected facebook. It's not that I'm blind or stupid (for the most part), it's more that I see many different possibilities that the smeared letters could be, and this ambiguity is troublesome. Kind of like those brain-tricks that are like, oh is it a cup?? or two faces kissing?? What is it? Neither! Both! You're all right/wrong!

Someone please tell me what the proper answer to this one is:

I mean I'm pretty sure the second part is 'stacpoole' or whatever, but what's with that first word?? allvewvaergopeijpeoi... could be anything. leave answers in comments.

Mashed Potatoes & Me

I love mashed potatoes. In two days, I'll get to eat a full plate of them and revel in the joy of their deliciousness and the warm fuzzy holiday feel I'll have because it will be Thanksgiving. I was thinking about mashed potatoes, and they're a sort of unfortunate food (but not just for constipation they cause). They're unfortunate because they're really not photogenic. When people see a picture of a pie or a cake, they say "MMMM OMG I WANT THAT MMM YUMM SOO GOOD OMG WOW" or something along those lines. With mashed potatoes, the effect is kind of similar to that which is acheived by the menus at authentic Chinese take out places--the images repel the customer rather than entice them. Here are some pictures of my favorite Thanksgiving food, and when you say to yourself "ew that looks like shit," just remember that not all foods are as visually appealing as others, and that it's how it tastes on the inside (of your mouth) that counts. 

that actually looks pretty unappealling

(trashy mashed potatoes)

just a waste of time. but kind of clever i guess. no, not really.

Who's the Queer?

It's me! I'm Nicolas, nice to meet you. I'm really shy, and I'm new to these internet parts. What's your name? Omg thats such a pretty name. Well I'll be contributing to this here blog, offering my skewed perspective for your reading delight. Enough jibber-jabber, let's celebrate my first post! Weeee. I'm the new guy. 

STEAL FROM THE RICH AND GIVE TO DA GAYZ

PLEASE READ

PLEASE READ

PLEASE READ

http://www.nomilkforcinemark.com/

Moment of clarity

Just when you thought you had it the worst....

Beautiful Things #2

I cannot stop.  It makes me happy, and my brain likes happy things.

So you think you can dance?

If you know me at all, you know that I religiously use youtube.  One of my favorite things to do is watch dancers/dancing/music videos with dance routines on youtube.  I've gathered some of the most amazing dance videos around.  Every single one of these videos has had a jaw-dropping effect on me and I hope then when I go crazy dancing I look HALF as cool as these people.  I don't know how to limit myself so I'll try and do one video for every style.  IF I CAN.....

Ballet (Sylvie Guillem)

Hyphey Crunk (ATL Kids)

Pop (Janet Jackson)

Gay Hip Hop (One of the most incredible dancers/choreographers of ALL time, plz watch ALL 12 minutes.)(JONTE)

Modern/Contemporary (Jordan Bradfield)

Pop & Lock (David you've probably already seen him Elsewhere)

Lyrical (Timor and Annemiek, SYTYCD)

I hope you guys like this shit, cause I'm totally digging all of it over and over again.

Magical Things

My best friend Annette asked me to do a "Magical Things" post.  And I told her there were no words or images to describe the magic that dictates our lifestyle.  But she insisted that I try, so here is a small, limited collection of images that should make you say "Ahhh magic!"