Thursday, October 16, 2008

8 *FaBuLoUs* things didn't know about me that are TRUE.

1.  Kate Moss wished me a happy birthday
It's true!  I was ringing in my 20th FaBuLoUs year and I was dancing behind the DJ booth with my DJ friend Myles Hendrik and Kate Moss could see me having the most amazing time and I was screaming "ITS MY BIRTHDAYYYYY!"  and finally she touched my leg and said "It's your birthday?"  I responded with an eager nod.  Her nose bled a little and she said "Happy birthday darling!"

2. I went to see Austin Powers 3 with Orlando Bloom
Totally true!  I was 16 I think?  So I was invited to go see a movie with my uncle, he is my mother's sisters husband.  I had been babysitting all day and he thought it would be a nice treat.  Turns out, I wasn't going to see Austin powers 3 with only my uncle, two of his good friends Sebastian and Orlando would be coming with.  When he said "Yeah you should come, meet my mates Bash and Orlando as well"  I knew EXACTLY who he was talking about.  So I went, and I sat next to him...and then a preview for The Fellowship of the Ring came on and it was FaBuLoUs. 

3. I know Emile Hirsch
I'm not lying!  Speed Racer, Into the Wild, The Girl Next Door, Alpha dogs?  Yeah, I went to high school with him.  We used to get high together, now I just see him out and we have a drink and he tells me about the new movie he's doing about Harvey Milk and how I'll love it cause I'm gay and FaBuLoUs.  No but seriously, he's crazy.  But I love him because he's famous, right?

4. I've been swimming with Dustin Hoffman
FACT.  I have immersed myself in chlorinated water with the great Dustin Hoffman.  It was a summer day and his son was trying to get into my best friend Christy's pants, so he invited her over and of course I had to come because she wasn't down to fuck.  So we come over for a swim and out comes D. Hoff in swimming trunks and a snorkeling mask holding a bowl of cherries...when he got in he would go underwater and swim past his son and then come up and say "Nice package".  His son was kind of sleazy, like him.  But the cherries were FaBuLoUs.

5. I was voted 1 of the top 10 people to know in LA nightlife
Okay this one MIGHT not be true, you decide.  One of my close family friends said both her and her daughter saw a picture of me in a list titled "The top 10 people you need to know in the LA nightlife scene" .  It was published in either Paper magazine or Nylon magazine, same difference.  I never saw the issue but months later a 3rd person, another parent said they had seen the same thing.  I was in the ranks of the great buffet cyclone Cory Kennedy as well as the obvious party photog Mark Hunter.  We're like a little family, except we're more FaBuLoUs than you.  But you can come play!

6. Amy Winehouse and Kelly Osborne asked me for drugs
Scouts Honor!  I said no of course!  I couldn't live with myself if I was the line that broke the beehives nasal cavity!  I was at Teddy's and as the end of the night approached, after I had been dancing with everyone all night the two of them cornered me and said "You MUST know where to get coke right darling?"  I replied "No, just xanax but i doubt you guys are looking for something like that"  to which Amy snapped "I'll take whatever, how much"  I pointed them in the right direction and the rest was history.  Who knows if they ever even took the xanax, they probably just traded it for coke at 4:30 in the morning.  It was nice feeling needed, a truly FaBuLoUs sensation. I know a lot of famous british people don't I?
PS.  Amy dances like a zombie bride

7. I've done drugs with Lindsay Lohan
OBVIOUSLY this is true. Who HASN'T done drugs with Linds. She was not looking
FaBuLous, rough night for my girl.

8. I was in a Mc Donald's commercial when i was 6
It's true ask my dad! My father was producing a commercial for Mc Donald's and it called for
two kids soccer teams, so he cast me as one of the players. I got to eat crafts service food all day
and I made plenty of FaBuLoUs six year old friends. Until they all got edited out and I was the star
of the commercial, they really resented me for having a father on set.

I'm hoping in the next ten years I...
-get the first star on the walk of fame to celebrate someone who has walked down Hollywood more
than 99% of the world's population
-sleep with Bryan Singer, one of the most powerful homosexuals in Hollywood
-get ASKED for drugs by Lindsay Lohan and DO drugs with Amy and Kelly
-win a reality tv show award
-make it onto a commentary panel for a show like "101 most embarrassing Tara Reid moments"
or "Where are they now: The story of the cast of the new 90210"

All of those things will probably happen, because FaBuLoUs never really dies, it just goes to 
college in Hayward.




 

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

you are extremely ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

youre amazing and hilarious

deborahbrahbrah just doesnt understand

MAGGY LOGOW said...

u so fAbuLOuS!

TheWorst. said...

please get over urself

Banks said...

shut up quentin and seth

Anonymous said...

Erm, #3 is fabulous ;)

Emile's pretty wild.

You go, Emile-yo!
Score some bud for me, too.