Movin on up...

I've moved!

faggutz.wordpress.com

Blogger isn't satisfying me anymore.  

Other things that have lost their effect on me...

1) Heroes

2) Whiskey

3) Linkin Park

4) Intervention

5) Holiday Sentiments

6) Every guy I've ever been with, except for one.

Save the! --eh, We're Over It.

What ever happened to 'save the rainforests??' Al Gore, are you out there? When I was a little lad, it was like doomsday if the rainforests were ever cut down. If the rainforests were destroyed, we would not only increase the CO2 in our atmosphere and turn the heat way up in our Earth, but we would lose hundreds of thousands of precious, precious endangered species in the process. Some of which we've never even seen before! Or so I was told...

But what happened? Were they 'saved?' I doubt it... How did the drama end? What's going on there? I want to know!

When I was in grade school, it was like we were being indoctrinated with pro-rainforest propaganda! I swear, we had pictures of them posted, we were tested on them, I'm sure we had some sort of Rainforest Day to celebrate their crucial nature and the beautiful wonders that they contain. Hell, I know from grade school that the rainforest has layers; the top is the canopy and that's where all the birds lived and stuff, and at the bottom is really dark because the trees are that tall!

We had movies telling us the importance of the rainforests! Helloo, FernGully anyone?? If I remember correctly, that bulldozer monster was terrifying! And if there was no bulldozer monster in FernGully, then it was from another rainforest movie, which further validates my point. The 90s were saturated with Rainforest promotions.

One would think that now, when 'green' is a catchphrase and corporations are bragging about their environmental standards and we each seem to matter-of-factly know the science of how global warming works, that we would at least have some update on how our South American world wonders are doing.

It's honestly like the World Wildlife Fund or Greenpeace or whomever were like, "Ah, fuck it. The only people interested in rainforests are little kids. Once they grow up they lose interest; we all saw it coming. Let's start talking about recycling instead." Does anyone care to fill me in? If this crucial drama of our planet in peril was so incredibly important, why do I not know how the story panned out? Don't we care? Was it that important? It had to be! What happened to the rainforests?? Like the number of licks in a Tootsie-Pop, the world may never know...

hate to say I told you so

So, I didn't pass my developmental math class.  Thats about 4 attempts at basic algebra that have failed.  Everything else stuck, I survived chemistry, I stayed afloat in physics even.  AP Art History was doable, and AP English lit and English comp were almost a breeze.  But Algebra...ha! Never.  So since I'll never graduate from college because I can't understand dlfjhlksgflkshjdfgjkshMATH, here is a substitute for "Level Of Education" on your resumé

TED University: TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is a conference that happens annually in Silicon Valley.  Leaders in the 3 fields mentioned are asked to give a lecture on anything they want.  I've sat on youtube for hours, days even...just listening to what these minds have to say.  I've watched a Lexicographer explain how we can redefine the dictionary.  I've heard JJ Abrams discuss the origins of his obsession for the unkown mystery.  Isaac Mizrahi delivers a manic talk about sources of inspiration and the creative mind.  Its all covered.

I wish that watching TED talks on youtube could somehow be refined into some sort of formal education.  You can choose what lectures you want to see and write responses to them.  You can be inspired by certain speakers to create something of your own brilliance.  I don't know, I just think you guys should check it out, here are some of my favorites: 

The Next 5,000 days of the web

Underwater Astonishments

Do Schools kill Creativity?

Redefining the Dictionary

I know they're all kind of long, but if you're looking for some awesome brain food then ted.com is your grocery store.  I encourage you to find one that interests you, so when someone asks you "So what did you learn in school today"  you can say "Nothing, but then I went home and learned something amazing on the internet."

Finals Week

Finals week is staring me in the face and it's time to get serious. While this week is (as it should be) a heavy workload, it's also kind of silly. What's funny about finals week is how common conversational exchanges often seem to be reduced to an unstated competition to find who has the most burdensome, unmanageable workload. Instead of talking about notable news or common interests, the conversations default to a list of the surmounting tasks that the student unknowingly chose to take on when they enrolled in all their classes. Peoples' conversations start sounding a little like these:

"Hey! How are you?"

"Oh I'm fine. I just finished a 25-page paper while standing on my head."

"Oh."

"Heyyy what's upp did you finish our report that's due tomorrow..."

"Well I'm halfway there but only because yesterday I had to go to three different finals that are all scheduled at the same time, but it's cool because I'll just take about 30 more Adderall than usual and I'll whip it out in no time."

"You look a little tired? Do you have a lot of work this week?"

"Um, YES. I haven't slept in four days and the last time that happened was before I went to rehab. I'm considering taking up meth again I'm so tired. I have three papers to write by tomorrow, two are fifteen pages and the other is twenty. The twenty pager I haven't attended class since October."

"Wow, that's too bad."

"Hey, sorry if I seem anxious, I just have this in-class essay in thirty minutes and I feel a little underprepared."

"Oh, that's not that bad, I have an in-class exam this afternoon and we're not allowed to use pens or pencils."

It's like people start making things up just to show how burdened they are! And thank goodness for Attention Deficit Disorder; if that didn't exist, where would Adderall be and how would some people pass their finals? Funny story-- one of my friends once dated this guy that would never EVER smoke pot, but was a HUGE fan of Adderall. I mean, how much more stupid could you get? One is an amphetamine engineered in chemical labs and the other is a plant! Talk about doing something because The Man told you to... Well, I better go, I have a forty-page English paper to finish thats due yesterday and we have to write it in pig-latin.

Am I Dreaming?

TEDDY BEARS IN SPACE!

Things I get to come home to...

As my first college quarter reaches a close, I have seriously gassius butterflies in my stomach. Im SO excited to go back to LA and here's why:

1) Annette, everything about Annette. OBVIOUSLY
2) Daryl's joints
3) Cactus
4) Yuccas
5) Ross' Dancing
6) Banksy's Back party at Too Many Tuesdays (DEC. 16TH SEE YOU THERE)
7) Mercedes, BMWs, Lexus ad nauseum
8) Xander's brutal honesty
9) Brent's laugh and totally frantic behavior
10) Itaru's cluelessness, JK Bitty you're plugged in.
11) Talia's smile and laugh and hugs
12) Jared's boy like kindness with a dash of satanic tendencies. I MISS JARED
13) Fenton's deep statements drenched in seersucker....at coachella....in the 100 degree heat.
14) Jack Siegel. totally miss that kid.
15) Reasons to get dressed up
16) Erin's smile, Hayley's smile, Quentin and Lyndsea's attitudes.
17) I miss being treated like teen scene queen RoYaLtY!
18) My army cot bed
19) Im gonna have ALL of my favorite people in one place...and im gonna tackle all of you
20) #14 is a lie

Life's biggest questions.

One of my strongest literary memories from my childhood is this book. The Way Things Work was, well, exactly that. It's a collection of explanations for everyday devices/technology. Everything from the oppositional concepts of levers and gears to the complex operations of a radio. I couldn't for the life of me tell you how any of the things in the book work today. But as a young boy, just knowing I had the answers bound and illustrated in a coffee table book was comforting enough. I would take it out and show my friends that I could potentially learn how film and projectors worked, if I felt so inclined.

Nowadays I am finding myself lacking such resources. The answers to the questions that plague my young mind cannot be found in a book. The inquiries range from incredibly trivial to absolutely paralyzing, but no matter their relevancy they still maintain a generally equal level of importance to me. And although the answers to some of these questions might be obvious, consider how sufficient they actually are...here are a few of the best examples, the ones that attack me so often I can remember them off hand.

- Why do people buy DVD's?

Am I right or am I right? With the creation of Netflix, OnDemand AND Tivo people still think that buying dozens of DVD's is a good idea. You can have ANY movie you want, for as long as you want it and the longest you'll have to wait for it is a day or two. Did we not learn our lesson with 8-tracks and minidiscs? These kinds of things are OBSOLETE people.

-Were did Michael Keaton go?

I know I know, he was in Herbie Fully Loaded and White Noise. But this guy used to be Batman! He was Beetlejuice! He was also in a movie called Multiplicity that I LOVED when I was younger. I guess I just miss him more than most people.

-How am I gonna survive in the modern world?

With the economy headed in the direction that it is. And my rights to marry being revoked, I start to wonder if coming of age and trying to make ends meet in Tomorrowland is even worth it. I can't even manage a checkings account, but I want like 7 children. How is this gonna work?

- Why do Christian crazies feel the need to yell at me?

I dont come to your church and tell you what I think you're doing is wrong. I don't stand on your lawn and preach to you about how much I love being gay. So please don't come to my college campus to tell me I am "the chief of sin" and that I "will get AIDS". Yes, someone said those exact words to me today, on my school grounds nonetheless!

-How come everyone thinks Donnie Darko is so good?

Seriously, doesn't ANYONE feel totally dissatisfied at the end of the movie? For the duration of the film youre taken on this journey, only to end up with as much knowledge as you did at the beginning of the movie. Oh and FUCK Patrick Shwayze.

-Why are people still buying SUVs?

Unless you're a farmer, or your vocation requires an SUV for some reason, you dont need to be buying a Hummer, or a Suburban. I'll admit I see alot more mini SUVs and barely any new full sized ones. But at least twice a week I am still forced to spot that DOUCHEBAG driving a faggot-y yellow Hummer, he's obsessed with West Coast Customs and likes paisley bandanas. Lick me, all of you.

-How come people can't accept that pop music is good?

It must suck to be those people that think its not cool to like pop. Is it not cool to like candy? Is it not cool to like mindless sex? I'm sorry, but pop was designed by some of the best producers and musicians in the industry to make you like it. It's designed to feel good to listen to. It makes you want to dance, but some people cannot get past the stigma. Yeah, I said it...pop music has a stigma, its the victim. SAVE POP MUSIC!

-Ugg Boots...still...during the summer.

ALWAYS with the denim skirt. UGHHHHHH MOVE ON LADIES.